Best Friends

Today I have been thinking about my best friend.  Actually, today my best friend is my husband, Dennis.  I had been single about two decades when I met Dennis.  In those years, I had many girlfriends, and one who I could say was my best friend.  She was the one person who I could talk to about anything.  Susan rejoiced in my good news, and listened like a trooper when things weren’t going well for me.  She never judged me, she just knew how to be there for me.  We had many lunches and dinners together, went to movies together, attended my kid’s and grandkid’s school performances.  She was the ultimate card sender.  I have so many little gifts around my home that she gave me, and when I look at them, I think of her and it makes me smile.  

About the time I met Dennis, Susan was starting to have some serious health issues.  We still hung out together.  She always loved hearing about my escapades of the men I met through Match, and she was especially happy for me when I started to tell her about Dennis.  The last time I saw her in person was when Dennis and I got engaged.  After I married Dennis, I moved about 90 miles away.  I would call her several times, but always got her voice mail.  I ended up writing her a few times, and I knew deep inside that she was not doing well.  One day I got notice that my very dear friend had passed away.  My heart was broken.  I do not handle loss well, and losing her was so tough.  

I am married to Dennis, and I know he is supposed to be my best friend, but it had been so many years, and I was just trying to figure out how to be a wife again.  I had been single for so long.  I didn’t have to answer to anyone, and did pretty much as I pleased.  Now, Dennis never asked me or even hinted to me that I needed to answer to him, but I knew I now was in a permanent relationship, and I need to give him my love and attention.  I do have to say that he made that pretty easy for me.  My husband has a servant’s heart.  I watch him with his 99 year old mom, as he treats her so kindly, and not only her, he treats all the people at her nursing home so sweetly.  He will bring them coffee at lunch, and help them to their chairs.  I watch him help my children move, help his son move, be there for his nieces and nephews.  

Today, I had a doctor’s appointment, and we went together.  It was cold outside, so he offered to drive the car to the door to drop me off, and then park the car.  It was so sweet, and so unnecessary.  I told him that I was not a diva and didn’t need to be dropped off while he parked.  I like walking in the door with him.  I like that we are partners together.  When we do projects at our home we do them together.  I love painting walls, he does not.  So, he will prep the room.  He will bring me the equipment, and then he will leave me alone to do my thing, but he will also show back up if I need his help to reach where I cannot, or for anything I may need.  My husband makes beds and cleans bathrooms!  Wow!  How did I find this guy?

Those are not the reasons that he is my best friend.  In my blog last week, I shared something that I wrote years ago.  It was actually about my fear of losing my best friend, Susan.  As I finished that writing, I stated, “God will give me what I need.  If I lose my friends, and if I need friends, God will lead me to new ones.  Don’t be afraid.”  I had found Dennis—or Dennis found me—or better yet, God brought us together.  What I wrote so many years ago was true, “If I lose my friends, and if I need friends, God will lead me to new ones.”

I will be married to Dennis for five years this August.  We have been in each others company daily since we got married.  There have been  only a handful of days where we were geographically apart.  We do almost everything together.  For a girl who did most things alone, this was a real change, and at first was a bit uncomfortable, not bad, just didn’t know how to do that.  The funny thing is, I don’t get tired of him.  We can sit in a room and be doing our own thing, reading, on the computer, watching TV, or whatever, but it feels completely natural.  He is good about helping clean, but the kitchen scares him to death!  I take care of the cooking.  We are both alive because of that!  I have eaten only one meal he has cooked.  We still laugh about it.  I was sick, so he cooked for me.  I was instantly healed so I could cook real food again!

Dennis is my best friend because I trust him completely.  He doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body.  He is my best friend because he treats me with respect.  He thinks I’m smart—that really helps.  I have a very right-sided brain compared to his really left-sided brain, and we balance each other so well.  He laughs at my jokes and my stupid actions.  You really don’t want to hear me sing my medley of songs about whatever subject we are discussing, or try to see how low I can get my voice to go just to say something stupid.  I love the sound of words, so I love pronouncing them over and over to the point of stupidity, and then just start laughing.

When I met Dennis, he was a retired CEO.  I was worried he would be a stuffed shirt.  I was worried he had no sense of humor.  He says he was pretty serious when he was working. I cannot imagine it—he is so funny and goofy today.  We just love laughing together.

I realized today, that my husband is my best friend.  He knows everything about me, knows my ups and downs, knows when I am having a bad or good day.  He is my cheerleader.  He makes me feel loved, protected, needed, and beautiful.  I have been blessed.  God did give me a new best friend, like I never thought would ever happen for me.  I am blessed.