We are slowly slowing down all our appointments—I think. Never before in our 13 years of marriage have we had such serious medical conditions hit us both at one time. Granted, Dennis did have some tough years the last few years, but we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We were starting to talk about things like planning travel for the holidays and vacations spots. Then, BOOM, 2026 happened. First, I got my diagnosis of lung cancer back in February with being given a very grim forecast. Dennis, with his heart device was feeling great, so now it seemed to be my time. My grim forecast, for now, is not so crazy grim. I still have no symptoms of lung cancer, and I have had no bad reactions to any treatments I have been given, and here I am just skipping along through life.
The end of September we got blindsided with Dennis having a brain tumor. Actually, his diagnosis threw me emotionally more than mine. I was thinking that so far I am doing well, and we can start planning some new adventures, when the hammer dropped with a new diagnosis for Dennis, and everything came to a screeching halt.
In the book, “When Breathe Becomes Air, written by Dr. Paul Kalanithi, he got a grim diagnosis of lung cancer as he was completing his medical training as a neurosurgeon, and he states, “I began to realize that coming into such close contact with my own mortality had changed both nothing and everything. Before my cancer was diagnosed, I knew that someday I would die but I didn’t know when. After the diagnosis, I knew that someday I would die but I didn’t know when. But now I knew it acutely.” Sadly, the author of that book did not finish it. His wife completed the book after his death. Yeah, I totally get that quote. It just kind of changes the way you look at everything in your life.
We have had a good week last week as Dennis received five separate doses of radiation to his brain, and five separate trips to the cancer center. According to our radiologist (yes, we share the same guy), Dennis received the same dosage I got in my June radiation, except he got them in smaller doses over five days, in difference to me getting the full dosage in one radiation. Dennis had no bad reaction to his radiation, and we are so thankful for that. He is also 99.99% himself again! Yay for that!
We finally made our way to church on Sunday, and the response from so many friends was so overwhelming. It was so wonderful as so many people came up to us welcoming us back and also sharing that they were praying for us every day! One lady came up to me and said, “You don’t know me, but my husband knows Dennis and we have been praying for the two of you every day.” What blessings we received by all these people’s love and concern for us.
I am really struggling with having so many different doctor’s appointments between Dennis and me. Right now I am the only driver. Other than our primary care doctor, every other doctor is more than a half-hour’s drive from our home. It’s not going to get better as home construction is crazy where we live, which means more traffic on the road to get to our destinations. I find that highly frustrating and isolating, like I live on an island that is hard to navigate from.
Dennis met with the oncologist this week whose specialty is melanoma. He was encouraging, however, there are still hurdles to go jump. Next week Dennis will begin monthly immunotherapy. The doctor wants to make sure there are no complications with the treatment before giving Dennis a port for infusions. As with all immunotherapy drugs, there can be severe reactions that could occur. His left sinus is also congested and needed to be evaluated by an ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor), treated, and tested for possible mucosal melanoma. The discovery of the sinus congestion was stated on the first CT scan of his head when he was in the emergency room over a month ago. We met with the ENT. He ordered a 10-day round of antibiotics followed by a CT scan of his sinuses for the 11thday, with a follow-up with the doctor a few days later. Along with that he is ordered sinus surgery after all these meetings to get biopsies. This surgery is planned right after Christmas. We are praying that it is not a sinus melanoma because it is a tough one to treat, but unfortunately, we cannot find a skin melanoma anywhere on his body. There can be a non-sun-based melanoma that can start in any mucus cavity in the body. Since the head scan in the hospital pointed out his congested left sinus, it seems like an obvious place to look.
Now on to my cancer issues. How crazy is this? We both are still testing for all this cancer stuff. No one has told us yet if we get a buy one, get one free plan!
Last Friday I went to visit my podiatrist. I told him I wanted a biopsy of my left big toe! I know—sounds weird, huh? Back in September I had my annual dermatology exam. Everything was looking good, and then all of a sudden the doctor took a photo of my left foot. She pointed to my toe and asked how long I have noticed the brown line going up and down my toenail. To be honest, I have never noticed it, but then I had my toes painted during the summer since it was flip flop season. She stated that it could be a reaction to my previous chemotherapy or it could be a melanoma. Yikes! I don’t need another form of cancer in my body. Then she said we could do a follow up in three months to see the status of that brown line. I am not a patient patient! I told my MD Anderson nurse about this. I told her I always kidded the radiology staff that my CT scans from neck to knees never covered my lower legs. I used to ask, “What if I have ankle cancer?” Then we would all laugh and go on with my scan. This time the nurse told me I gave her a reason for her order a full-body PET scan. When the results arrived, my toe did not light up. Of course, I had already asked Dr. Google about this, and he told me that nail cancer in the toe can be so small that it may not night light up in a PET scan. For peace of mind, my nurse and I decided I needed to get a toenail biopsy! That is exactly what I did. I called my podiatrist and requested a biopsy. My podiatrist is not related to me but is kind of related to me! His mom, after being widowed, married my uncle who was widowed. What a small world this is! He took a look at my toe and said that he thought the nail looked healthy, but he also understood my desire for peace of mind. I got a perfect little circle of nail and nail bed removed from my toe for biopsy. I should hear the results in the next week. (Did you know that this was the type of cancer Bob Marley died from–yes, it was a melanoma that started in his toenail).
As I look at our calendar I am overwhelmed with how many medical providers we are driving around to see. The mileage is astounding! The time is even more astounding! Most of all, the unknown in spite of all these miles and times visited is even more astounding! I don’t really know what to expect next. We just keep plodding along and say yes to the next doctor who tells us to go somewhere to get checked, or get scanned, or just seen for whatever reason. This is a new normal for us. Up until the last year or so, neither Dennis nor I have been seriously sick. I also find it amazing that we can be really sick and feel really good.
God is good! I have no other explanation for how good we feel. I have no other explanation for why we aren’t panicky or depressed. We have some troubling days, but nothing lasts long. We know we are in God’s hands, and he is always good. I have seen so much of God’s hand working this past year. The timing of things, that neither of us had a dangerous episode for ourselves and others, that people came out of the woodwork to support us. These are true blessings in our lives.
A couple nights ago Dennis and I attended a cancer support group at a local church in Gilbert. This group meets monthly and everyone shared where they are in their cancer journey. The caregivers among us also shared how they are doing. Then we had a Bible study over the verse in Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” We all shared about the good we have seen since our diagnosis. It was a small group of people who meet once a month from various different churches but all who loved the Lord and are trusting in him as they navigate cancer.
I feel like I am spewing so much medical stuff, and yet, I have no real answers to give anyone. We just take it a day at a time. We come home, relax, and wake up the next morning praising God for another new day.
